Give Them Rootbeer And Kisses
by hearmelaugh
Summary: Lavi and Kanda have been... sortof dating for a good long while, but can't catch a break when it comes to getting physical. One day they decide to do their very best to get that coveted first kiss, but things never run smoothly for them. Kinkmeme request.


Let There Be Snogging.

My _god_, it had taken a hell of a long time to get to this point. By Lavi's count, they've been friends almost a dozen years, a year in that awkward space of possibly more than friends but, y'know, equally possibly as platonically buddy-buddy as _ever_, then about six months of childish, manly taunts for one or the other to get on with it.

See, aside from fights (Kanda) and essays (Lavi), neither of them are too good at _starts_. Not at introducing themselves to new people, not at trying a new Chinese restaurant, not at replacing the shower curtain of the dank, miserable little flat they shared (as college kids).

So the whole physical aspect of the relationship, as well as the more relationshippy aspect of their relationship, was left to fester until the week before Valentine's day, under the heated glare of Mutual Best Friend Lenalee Lee.

(Who has a Boyfriend, and thinks herself superior to Lavi and Kanda's half-arsedness, bless her bossy soul).

"If you guys don't do _something_ about cementing your... stuff, one of you will have to sleep with me and Allen, so that you guys can, like, move on."

Lavi's apparent lack of horror at the idea damn near broke them up then and there. Lenalee took it as a Step Forward, damn her and her way of capitalising words that Kanda doesn't want to hear emphasised.

So, a date it is. For the day the fourteenth February, because no amount of capitalisation will sufficiently stop Kanda from breaking into horror-struck goose pimples at the prospect of datin' on Valentine's. They both dress up, careful to avoid each other's eyes while doing a once-over in the sole mirror in the bathroom. Tie, no tie? Slacks or jeans?

Fucked if they knew which of them was organising this shindig. Lavi dresses like a hobo in Autumn, Kanda looks like a Parisian model dressed on a budget. At their front door they look at each other, head to toe, and Lavi grins. "Baaaby. Where in th'hell are we going t'go?"

At least Lavi _started_ this conversation. With a wicked flash of the tooth, Kanda grabs his leather jacket and zips himself in. "Fucked if I care. Somewhere private for the first time."

Y'know. A date, and... more, maybe.

(Deffo-fuckin'-nitely.)

So they decide on drivin' through an A&W, and go where the Fates may lead them.

The first hurdle? Kanda's beaten-up Toyota refuses to do the usual and stutter its way into Life. Lavi's got a bicycle, but they don't accept bicycles at drive-throughs. But they're Inventive boys, so give 'em some credit, you know?

Kanda climbs in, and after a long, long time pedaling, they show up at the restaurant. A pretty waitress comes up to their... creation, and Stares.

Insta-flirt, is Lavi. Just add Female, and you won't find a greater, more unpleasant boyfriend for fuckin' miles around. He grins at her hugely, kicking the kick-stand and balancing the bicycle. "Hey, darlin'. You've never seen a trishaw before?"

The girl smiles back politely, notepad out. "Once, somewhere far away. Never seen anyone hook up a trailer to their bike and use that to carry their friend, though."

Credit where credit is due, though. Kanda's sitting in the little metal box on wheels like a goddamned _king_. The tray is slotted on the side of the trailer, and that's two giant glasses of rootbeer floats and enough curly fries to drown in. Lavi moves in to sit in the trailer with Kanda, the two of them pressed shoulder to knee, legs hanging over the side. It's a hard reach behind them for the drinks and fries, but 'parked' at the end of the parking bay it meant they were facing an empty, grassy lot. Lavi licks the ice cream foam from Kanda's lips, Kanda licks the salt from the fries off of Lavi's fingers.

This would count as awf'ly romantic stuff, were it not for the fact that they've been doing this since they were twelve (maybe with less licking).

The glasses knock emptily, and with a furtive glance around, Lavi decides that he'd quite like it if their noses knocked, and their teeth, and and and their _lips_, even. His arm inches around until he's hugging Kanda, and he tilts his head down until their faces are right next to each other.

Not gonna lie, Kanda likes this whole not having to start thing. Supposes that from the back it'll look like they're obviously kissing, but no one will see their faces so that's acceptable. They breathe sticky ice cream breath on each other, and their First Kiss is about to be notched up, oh _yes_-

"Sirs, here's the coney dog you ordered-"

Lavi's head gets thrown back by the palm to the chin courtesy of Kanda. He scrabbles up a smile for the startled waitress, but doesn't miss Kanda hissing "_Fuck_ your gluttony."

When there are so many better things to fuck, he'd say somewhat mournfully.

Kanda's turn to pedal, Lavi's turn to sit in the very slow-moving vehicle. Giggling teens take pictures of them, young children on kick-scooters tag along while shouting. At the latter Lavi throws hard candy he inevitably keeps in all his clothes, always. They pedal through a housing estate, then out into somewhere decidedly more industrialised. The air was a damn sight more smoggy, and the roads were bare but for the occasional heavy piece of machinery, accompanied by a very heavy air horn for every time Lavi waves.

Not that far away from the cardboard factory is a small, tucked-away bar, frequently patronised by the night-shift workers after something that'll warm them right up. For a part-time job to fund school, Kanda hadn't gone the usual coffee-shop waiter route, instead opting for heavy lifting at a distributors' for car parts. He'd frequented this place since he was 16, and he's liked this place since the first time he'd gotten absolutely slaughtered after five glasses of ale.

(Lavi likes it because while he'd gone pale and awkwardly long-limbed from checking stock at a bookstore, while Kanda had sprouted all sorts of wonderful lean muscle all over his delightful body. Devastatingly delightful.)

They park the bicycle and trailer right up against the wall of the bar, chaining the wheel to a drainpipe and kicking it to make sure it's all secure. The place was still deserted right now, being at that time when the evening shift was hard at work and the night shift has only just stirred. The barman nodded at Kanda, Kanda nods back, and he drags Lavi to a private little booth near the back of place.

Two banquettes facing each other, but without needing to speak they figure out that they're sitting right next to each other. Some pale-faced youth comes by, takes their orders, and disappears off, somewhere.

The boys? Their ankles are locked around each other's, and again they're pressed shoulder to knee. Lavi's twirling the ends of Kanda's hair in his fingers while two frothy mugs of beer are put in front of them. Kanda glares at everyone (including Lavi, just so you know) to guarantee them privacy, then settles his glare rather firmly on Lavi's flapping lips.

Oh, _oh_. Lavi presses the hair in his hand to his lips, smiling so hard his dimples are deep as ma'am Mariana's... Trench. "Want t'make it our first time, sweetness?"

Pfft, sweetness. Kiss my fuckin' hair, he takes a swig of beer.

Then he swings his legs up and on to Lavi's lap. Come _on_, I'm starting for once.

"Baby."

That's not my name, but Kanda will give him a pass for that, right now. With minimal blushing and _intense_ eye-catchin' action, Kanda ducks in for the kill, and it would've been yet another start, were it not for the loud, loud bunch of fuckin' teenagers ducking into the bar, talking about what a _novel place _this is.

In all fairness, at least Kanda didn't move his legs. Lavi's thumb stroking along his thigh was pretty pleasant too.

It's a game of rock paper scissors _fuck you_ to let them decide who cycles and who rides like a cowboy, and using option four Kanda wins (pretty much by default). So Lavi's in the cyclist's seat, and the uphill climb to a secluded clifftop is a hell of a struggle. Pretty soon he's huffing and puffing, sweat dripping down like melting icicles are stuck on the ends of his hair. He stands up in his seat, putting his full weight on each pedal, and all of a sudden it's like a second wind.

He shoots up the hill like a straining bull with his tethers cut away. Loudly Lavi whoops, looking over his shoulder to prove to Kanda that this skinny ass bookish man has strength-

And he almost runs into a goddamnfuckingtree, because now there's absolutely nobody in that trailer, not a thing other than the cigarette butts the product of a story that is for another time. He slams on the brakes, toppling over on the grassy side of the road, falling down like a determined redwood, too occupied looking for his Kanda to be arsed about breaking his fall.

Enter, Kanda's scuffed loafers. Then the rest of Kanda.

"Oi. The fuck?"

"Th'fuck with me? Th'fuck's wrong with you! How were y'not in th'fucking trailer?"

"The fuck. Calm down!"

"Don't tell me to calm down!"

That's crazy as all fuck, that number of exclamation marks.

Kanda kneels, grinning. "Get out from under there, dickbreath. I was running alongside you 'cos your skinny-ass legs looked like they were ready to fall off."

"'nd making a mention 'f that was, what? Impossible!"

Kanda leans down, still looking ready to either bite Lavi's neck out or kiss the shit outta him, but he's forced to pause when a couple of kids scream as they zoom down the hill in their skates.

Lavi would be willing to swear he hears Kanda say, somewhat triumphantly, that "Not this time, motherfuckin' Universe."

And kicking aside the wreckage of the bicycle (a foot to the side, maybe, but Kanda genuinely is awfully monstrously strong), Kanda cups Lavi's cheeks like he's caught a well-oiled pig, and somewhat messily they have their very, very _first_ kiss.

Lavi's Knowing, 'cos of books and 'film' and things, but there's very little to go on, re: our tongues in each other's mouths. Plus Kanda's hair was drowning him in darkness and the light scent of sweat, grass, without forgetting to mention the heavy rich scent of Yuu good _god_ Man Yuu. It's altogether too hot and too delicious and so so so messy. And look at his hobo chic clothes; he likes messy.

He also thinks they probably really suck at this, because within twenty seconds they'd pushed each other away, gasping breathlessly. But he can still taste chilies on his tongue, courtesy of Kanda's overzealousness when it came to putting chili sauce on fries, and quite happily Lavi feels his cheeks go a light pink.

Kanda looks like a wolfish boiled lobster, bless his heart for the miracles of his angered expressions.

Taking initiative, feeling warm and comforted with his back to the grass and Kanda on top of him, it's Lavi's turn to Start, so he loops his arms around Kanda's neck, planning to drag him down for another attempt at this lip-to-lip jolliness resuscitation. And if his crooked knee happens to press lightly against the zipper of Kanda's trousers, well. Life, you know? Exactly as it is. He's grinning wider 'n a Jack o' Lantern, and thirteen times more orange, and Kanda looks more than happy to be in this position himself.

They move towards one another, but really, Lavi should've waited and checked that the coast is clear-

A LOUD HONK RIGHT BY THEIR EARS, and Kanda's rolling off Lavi, cursing as he rubs at his ears.

Dazed, Lavi looks at this car that has so interrupted what has, thus far, been the best day _ever_, and at first glance it's an upset daffodil with its head stuck out the driver's side window. Once he's willed down his intense feelings of lusty affection Kanda never fails to incite in him, his eyes concentrate better, and he recognises it to be good ol' mister Tiedoll.

Good ol' crying mister Tiedoll. Who is currently bawling at Kanda, who is screaming right back.

"-how worried I was for you, Yuu-kun? You leave the day before our beloved family celebrate Valentine's, not a word to me or your brothers, then here I find you, crashed and giving poor Lavi resuscitative measures!"

He'd be a damn sight more lively if Kanda was still on top of him, dear ol' mister T. Lavi supposes this is the end of their haloed date, and, yeah, at least they've kissed now. Scrambling a little, he gets to his feet, tottering over to Kanda's side, so that they may be pressed shoulder to knee while they take on the sniveling, sobbing wrath of dear, dear mister T.

'sides. Physical wise, they'll be just as attractive tomorrow as they are today. Lavi _cannot _wait.

"-look, Lavi's so dazed, he's smiling at nothing! Oh, Yuu-kun-"

Poor _baby_.

A/N: Heeey guuuuys. It's been a while hasn't it, Since We Met. Roadblock in Life, sort of thing, but over the next couple of weeks you can expect relatively regular appearances of one-shots... Possibly. Making guarantees is a hard thing to do, nowadays. Reaaaally hope you guys know what a trailer looks like. Imagine a small metal cart that attaches to the back wheel of a bicycle. EF is being worked on, but I keep having a falling out with it, so patience will have to be a virtue you guys practice lots, I'm afraid. Also! Trying to make friends again! So if anyone's got LJ or a Dreamwidth account and would like to chat, shout at me reaaally loudly.

As ever, thank you for reading!


End file.
